by Phil McBurney
Director, AEC

I was pretty good in high school math.  English—not so much.  Final marks:  Math-99%, English 63%.

So what did I do after high school?  Naturally, I went on to take English at university—choosing to major in my worst high school subject.  Now, I liked English; I just wasn’t very good at it.  The very first essay I handed in to my freshman English prof scored a 50%.  How did that make me feel—well, I felt like an imposter.  All the other people were way smarter than I was—they were real English students.  I was a fake.  In fact, I didn’t get a ‘B’ until third year.

To make a long story short, I eventually got the hang of it, but it was a bit of a journey for me.

I still think about Math and how my life might be different if I’d gone the math route.  My name might be Louise, for example.  I think about math so much I started taking up Sudoku puzzles.  I tell myself:  “I’m a math guy.  I can so Sudokus, no problem.”  But more about that later.

In addition to Sudokus, I can be a reno TV junkie.  One of my favourites is Disaster DIY.  Do you know it?  Typically, the show features a couple where the husband has started some kind of reno project, then is either overwhelmed or loses interest, or both.  The wife then calls Brian Baumler, an expert handyman, to come and clean up the mess, correct the mistakes, teach some skills and get the wayward husband back on track.  Inevitably, the husband learns, gains confidence and is able to tackle a project on his own.

Let me guess how those husbands first felt—they felt like imposters..  All other husbands were way smarter and more skilled than they were.  They weren’t real handimen.  They were fakes.  Are you seeing a pattern here?

This is the first part of a learning cycle.  We are fakes.  Everyone else is way smarter than we are.  Everyone else has it together and we don’t.  Just think of any time you stepped or were pushed out of your comfort zone.  Maybe you’ve coached your kid or taken up a new sport or activity, taken some kind of course, or started a new job.  And most likely, you’re at a point now—with your graduation about to be behind you—where you may well be on to something new, something unfamiliar, something likely to challenge your skills and your confidence.  Some next step for you.

If that’s the case, just be ready for how you’re liable to feel—like an imposter, like you’re in overwhelm, like everyone else has it together and you don’t—and put it in perspective.

When I did a Sudoku on line—I’m a math guy, remember—it gave me an evaluation.  I came in the first percentile.  Do you know what that means?  That means that 99% of the other people who’ve done the same puzzle were faster than I was and didn’t make any mistakes.  In other words, in the Sudoku world, I’m a big loser.  But with Sudoku—the stakes are pretty low, after all—I can put it in perspective.  I know that, if I persist, I’ll eventually get the hang of it.

So let me encourage you, whatever your next step is, to persist when it’s uncomfortable, to keep the faith in yourself, to realize you will eventually get the hang of it.  Otherwise, you rob yourself of the chance to rise to the challenge.

As Wayne Gretzky says:  “100% of the shots you don’t take will not go in the net.”